Urgh.

It becomes my fault that I am idling everyday. I seem to become the cause of the project's slow progress. Stop the crap of "I-don't-want-you-to-learn-nothing".

The manager suddenly remembered my presence. I was glad he did. Later on, I just wished he never did. The last conversation with him was that I change the frequency from 1 to 5 Hz and get the salesperson in. A few days later, it was as if the conversation has not taken place before. He has short-term memory? Then, I'm afraid it's way too short. He asked for the updates on the project. I tried to refresh his memory. He still held on to his belief that his machines operate at more than 5 Hz. Dumbfounded.

He questioned me what I have been doing so far. I told him I was learning from so and so. With a mocking smile, "So what have you learnt?" And I replied with great emphasis that the job of a bloody engineer there is to abide to what the bloody customers want. In a sense that, after we did this and that, we tell the customer we did this and that, and then the customers will reply to do this and that, and so you follow what the customers want. "We are sub-con, that's why" was his reply. He added that he was going to get the cable for me and I won't have the time to run all over the place to learn this and that. Not very happy from this moment onwards... I asked him if he has anything else for me to do. He went on and said he DOES NOT want to overload me. Contradicting idiot.

Talking about this cable makes my blood boil. I have done so much research and got the quotations. I guess he treats my email as junk or perhaps he is trying to earn some commission or what so ever. He gave someone a call to get the cable. When I saw the quotation he got, my heart sank. It was 1000 plus while mine is 700n plus. Let him be.

He said he did not need the salesperson to come and demonstrate the device to us anymore. He knows how to use the device when he managed to get a second hand one? As for me, I don't know for sure. Will the cable he buy be compatible with the second hand device? I pray. Without knowing much about the product, he denied the visit of the salesperson and hastily got the cable from someone he knew.

He ain't teaching me anything and he wants me to learn something out here. He just throws the project at me and leaves me to die by myself. If I ever acquired anything, then it would be a self-directed one. Changing from 1 Hz to 5 Hz is unfortunately, not like taking a pen and strike off the 1 and rewrite it to 5. It requires a change in resistors. The company, apparently, is not a lab where you get the resistors you want from the lab assistant. Whatever shit I need, I got to go down to Sim Lim to get it. A resistor though tiny, does not fall easily from the sky. I do not have the luxury of having a car or having any time off to go down to Sim Lim during the weekdays. I can only wait until weekend like today to go down to SL. I braved the rain just to get some resistors. I felt silly, really. It's easy to use your mouth and say. But really, it's not as simple as JUST changing 1 to 5. It is simple if he provides me with the resistors.

The last time I asked him if I can make any claims after buying those stuff. Naturally, it's possible but he made me seem so bloody stingy. He assumed that those stuff are worth only a few cents. It amounts to $13.40. And the other engineer who bought less stuff than me (resistors + LEDS), paid like $45!!! My jaw dropped when I heard that. Don't ask me why. It beats me. But one thing for sure, she did not go down to SL to get those stuff. She dared not claim it as she wasn't confident that her circuit could work. I'm sorry to say that ICs, LEDS and capacitors are not as cheap as he thinks. Resistors are cheap, like 15 cents for one, so I did not bother to get any receipt today. But then again, it makes me so silly to cover the cost (though small) myself when the project is not my own. Anyway, I shan't claim it else he will go, aiya only a few cents, I pay you lah, that kind of thing.

As for my report I submitted to him, he needs the weekend to look through. I think he is thinking of grading my report. Nah. I don't need that. I just need him to sign the clearance so that any dirty linen of the company is not shown to the public. I hope he realise the intention of having him read my report - For clearance and not for grading. I don't need him to grade me!

I just feel bored normally. Now, I feel so bored and mad. I think I cannot fathom his thinking and I never will.